iNicked – iDrew

with soft moans and sweet
promises the vagina gang pleaded
the release of bliss as if gratification
was locked away at her majesty’s
pleasure serving a life sentence

from a super charged over eager vulva
they plotted about an enlightened
journey to fulfillment but the gang had been
infiltrated by an undercover agent
cuntstable penis
(truncheon drawn evening all)
determined to uphold the laws
of fucking
pushed and thrusted to bang ‘em up
in just a couple of minutes
register another name on his charge sheet

vag gang wanted more than a quickie
(little labs flapping about neurotic)
required to investigate the heady
heights of rapture and delight
but pc penis just pushed and thrusted
pushed and thrusted
determined to get the job done and dusted

the gang were ready and committed
a command not an exclamation
clit made promises of heavens
to come fight for the right
for satisfaction
what choice did pc penis have
a riot of joy began to stir and so
he shot them
gave everything he had

limp and exhausted pc penis withdrew
hung his helmet deflated
but after a little snooze he’ll be ready
to stand to attention
willing to perform his duty
meanwhile the gang had taken stimulus
using fingers
(batteries not required for this)
FUCK ME became a demand not a slogan
FUCK ME became an urgent need not a fantasy


and the plain clothes (very plain
no style at all) detective said
miss drew
you’ve been bailed to appear before
the magistrates charged with
fornicating without due care and attention
for the purpose of achieving ecstasy
and for being loud in a built up area

or let’s put it another way
you’re fucked
and you’ll be going down for this

Writing under the name of iDrew, to co-ordinate with her titles, Essex girl Drew has previously been published in various magazines both on-line and in print. She enjoys shopping, boys and clubs but claims these are all merely research for her writing. She has a Pushcart nomination as well as being one of the founding members of the Clueless Collective and can be found

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