It’s Sailor Moon Saturday! Ever Saturday, our wonderful CNF editor Soleil Ho will review a new episode of Sailor Moon Crystal (watch it now on Hulu, Crunchyroll, and other reputable online entertainment hubs). We’re making sure to keep a few episodes behind, giving you plenty of time to catch up and allow for spoiler-free watching.
I took a BIRTHDAY BONANZA vacation last week, but I’m back!
Episode 4 of Sailor Moon Crystal takes a break from the rapid-fire character introductions to focus on the Sailor Senshi’s search for the ~Legendary Silver Crystal~. As I watch the series, I’m struck by how vaguely defined their goals are: find the crystal, protect the princess, defeat the Dark Kingdom. Every time the girls ask Luna for more details, she just says, “I don’t know,” or “We’ll find out later!” Perhaps their first mistake is looking to a talking cat for the answers. It’s actually a nice parallel to the Dark Kingdom’s minions, who also have no idea what they’re after — just that they have to 1) get the crystal, 2) ???, 3) profit!
To be honest, I never really liked the “Masquerade” story. Not to say that no one should like pretty-pretty-princess stuff; it just isn’t my thing. So I tend to space out during B-roll shots of arm-length gloves and sedately twirling dancers. And maybe it’s personal, but I’m tired of glasses-wearing characters like Princess D turning into surprise cuties once they take off said glasses. I’ve already seen She’s All That, so don’t make me watch it again and again! Coupled with the helpless drunk princess vibe that Usagi adopts when Tuxedo Creepazoid goes in for a kiss, this bit comes off as a lot more conventional than the later parts of the series.
OK, so really, my favorite part of this story is the diamond reveal, if only because I like to think of how funny it would be if the ~Legendary Silver Crystal~ really did turn out to be a tacky 200-karat statue of a nerdy princess. Imagine Sailor Moon having to lug that shit around to every battle, and the looks on the bad guys’ faces! I’d watch that.
Soleil Ho is a freelance writer, and chef living in New Orleans. Her essays have appeared in Mason’s Road, Bitch Magazine, The Heavy Table, Interrupt Mag, Impreachable, CLAP zine, the Twin Cities Runoff, and Art Review & Preview. Whenever she visits her grandmother, there always seems to be a big bowl of chicken curry on the table, just for her. You can find a bunch of her writing at soleilho.tumblr.com.